There are many ways to strive for satisfaction, but I guess there's only one way to be satisfied.
Campus is always full of children on weekends. They are inevitably looking adorable--these small bipeds, these miniature human beings. There are two little Vietnamese girls wearing shirts the same color as magnolias the image of whom I can't get out of my head. From the back, I probably looked just like them when I was that age. These days, I keep waving at people I don't know. Maybe it's the nearsightedness. But there are other reasons that we mistake people for someone else.
I'm sorry for too many things. Guilt, remorse, self-disgust...these things have their place.
**
I have to read a novel for class. It's been banned in the Mainland, so of course everyone in the West is raving about it, about this "blast of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll" that's putting a new face on China, doing away with old stereotypes, ushering in a new era in Chinese lit. But I just get depressed after reading this book about the tortured lives of these beautiful creatures who really aren't beautiful after all. What hope there is seems more delusion than hope. "Darkness always ends in light" says the author, but what does that mean? Darkness is the absence of light, is not light, so how does darkness just end in light, just like that? You have to get out of the darkness right? You can't just dig up salvation from your intestines.
Campus is always full of children on weekends. They are inevitably looking adorable--these small bipeds, these miniature human beings. There are two little Vietnamese girls wearing shirts the same color as magnolias the image of whom I can't get out of my head. From the back, I probably looked just like them when I was that age. These days, I keep waving at people I don't know. Maybe it's the nearsightedness. But there are other reasons that we mistake people for someone else.
I'm sorry for too many things. Guilt, remorse, self-disgust...these things have their place.
**
I have to read a novel for class. It's been banned in the Mainland, so of course everyone in the West is raving about it, about this "blast of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll" that's putting a new face on China, doing away with old stereotypes, ushering in a new era in Chinese lit. But I just get depressed after reading this book about the tortured lives of these beautiful creatures who really aren't beautiful after all. What hope there is seems more delusion than hope. "Darkness always ends in light" says the author, but what does that mean? Darkness is the absence of light, is not light, so how does darkness just end in light, just like that? You have to get out of the darkness right? You can't just dig up salvation from your intestines.
1 comment:
your letter! I received it.
love & hugs,
cx.
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